the first day

this is the first day in a six week program. to change a way of life. change old habits. they say, old habits die hard. this going to die harder than a vicar's erection.

let me explain the situation.

after more than eight years of promiscuity, countless numbers of relationships shattered by my own stupidity and search for something more exotic, etc. i have decided to abstain. and yes, from everything.

sex became something that i could consume, it became easy and less and less fulfilling. it became a way to connect with people. it started to take away my creativity, all energy was usurped on the chase. i can and do catch me on the street, just with my eyes. draw them in so easily. you can make a man just want you from passing them in the street, to half smile and look away, the coy thing. or the one that is the most exciting is starring them ring in the face. the cold stare. they love that the best. want to get into you, feel your coldness, fill up your loneliness.

so this will be a documentation of this challenge, and who knows, i may even become a better person for it.